Sam’s Fear (part 6)


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PART 6

Rowena had never seen anything like
this before.  She tried various counter spells that she knew, as well as a
few of her own spells.  The only one that worked was the protection charm,
and that was only temporary.

She had chanted the spell again, to
give herself and Sam some time.  He had stopped writhing immediately and
lay still on the bed, his eyes staring at nothing.

***

After pacing the room for a bit,
Rowena remembered when she had helped Dean get his memory back, and wondered if
a similar spell would work on his brother.  She could – Rowena stopped and
suddenly smiled.

“I’ve got it!” she said and picked
up the phone.

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Poor Sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sam’s Fear (part 5)


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Dean was reluctant at first. It took Rowena quite a while to convince him
she meant no harm. That she truly wanted to help Sam, and she needed him close
to her to help him get through the curse he was put under. He really didn’t
want to let Sam go, he wanted him right by him, to help him through this. But
somehow Rowena convinced him.

What she didn’t tell Dean, of course, was that she was lying.

She knew that Sam wasn’t in fact, cursed. It was much worse than that.
Rowena knew Dean wouldn’t understand the truth. He wouldn’t be able to let Sam
go if he knew. So she did what she knew would work. Sometimes lies have to be
told, she thought.

***

“Rowena, where are we going?” Sam was confused.  He didn’t know why he
was leaving the bunker with Rowena, and why Dean wasn’t coming with them. They
walked out the bunker door, with Dean watching until they had passed through
the bunker door.

“It’s alright dearie, I’ll explain everything soon, I promise.”  Rowena
patted his arm.

They walked together to the road and got into a waiting taxi.  Sam knew
something was wrong, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.  Something
was confusing him. He couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. Rowena watched him
the entire ride back to her hotel, waiting to see what Sam might do next.
 But nothing surfaced.  Sam was mostly quiet during the short ride,
staring out the window, but his mind was thinking hard.

“Rowena, what’s going on?” he asked quietly.  Rowena sighed and touched
Sam’s cheek, turning it towards her. She knew he needed patience. And calm
words.

“Samuel, do you remember working with me? Practicing magic?”

Sam smiled, his eyes now staring at Rowena. “of course I do.”

“Do you remember when you started feeling the fear?”

Sam’s eyes went dark, his smile fading. “Yes, I remember that too.”

“Samuel, do you remember how that happened?”  Sam turned away from
Rowena to look out the window at the passing traffic.

“No,” was his short, pained reply.

“It’s ok, you know.  That’s why we’re leaving.  So I can help
you.”  Sam nodded, but did not verbally respond.

“Alright dearie, just trust me, ok?  I’ll explain the lot as soon as we
get back to my hotel, ok?”  Sam nodded again, resting his head on the cool
glass, staring out into the city.

Rowena’s brow crinkled. This is how it started the first time, with Sam
becoming distant. But soon they arrived at the hotel, and Rowena was able to get
Sam inside without difficulty.  

It was inside when the trouble began.

Rowena sat him down on the bed and began explaining the situation to Sam. “I
still don’t know what happened, Samuel, but somehow you unleashed this upon
yourself – accidentally, of course.”

Sam frowned and nodded. “ok, “ he answered. He was looking past Rowena when
he spoke to her. He started breathing heavily and his arms wrapped around
himself, shaking.

“Samuel, are you doing alright?” Rowena bent forward to look into his eyes.

He was not alright.  Rowena knew if
she didn’t find a counter spell soon, Sam’s situation would likely turn
permanent. She knew the lie she told Dean about the hex bag would become
unraveled soon, and Dean would never trust her again. She needed to fix this
before the truth was revealed. She cast one more spell and watched as Sam
froze, eyes staring at nothing.

She was running out of time.


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Sam’s Fear (part 4)


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“Samuel, stop!” Rowena managed to pull back on Sam’s
arm and he turned to look at her, his smile fading. She chanted a few words and
Sam blinked. He seemed to come out of a haze. He shook his head and noticed his
brother lying face down on the floor.

“Dean!”

Dean was not moving. Sam knelt down beside him and
gently turned him over. He sighed with relief when he saw his brother was
breathing.

“Rowena, what happened? What’s wrong with Dean?” His
brows were furrowed in concern. He tried gently shaking him.

“You don’t remember?” Rowena asked cautiously. She
didn’t seem fazed by the fact that Dean was lying unresponsive in front of her.

“No, I…actually, I don’t even remember how I got here. Wait. How did you get here?” Sam sat down again,
putting his head in his hands, not moving from his brother’s side. “I’m so
confused. I don’t feel well. I don’t…” He looked over at Dean, who was still
unconscious on the floor. He started to panic. Rowena reached over and put her
hand on his back, rubbing it softly.

“Samuel, you’ve been through a lot. You –“  but before she could continue, Dean
stirred on the floor. Sam looked up quickly and moved closer to his brother,
reaching out to help him up.

“Dean, are you ok? What’s going on? What happened?”
But Dean just looked at Sam. He got up slowly, hesitating on his knees as he
struggled to get his balance back. He didn’t reach out to him, didn’t speak to
him. In fact, he backed up.

“Dean?” Sam’s voice was almost a whisper. He didn’t understand
why his brother would do this.

But Dean turned to Rowena instead.

“Rowena, what the hell! What did he do to me? What’s
actually happening here?” He stood up all the way and took another step back. He
rubbed the back of his head, still recovering from whatever spell Sam cast on
him.

Sam was sitting on the floor. He looked from Dean to
Rowena, his eyes scrunched with worry. He was very confused.

Rowena stood up, straightening her dress as she stood.
She patted Sam on the head as she stepped away from him, reassuring him.

“I don’t rightly know Dean. That hex bag may have some
residual effects, as you can see. I don’t even know what kind of a spell he hit
you with, to be honest. May I?” She reached out to Dean, wanting to touch him.
She raised her eyebrows and waited for his approval.

He hesitated for a moment, but decided she really did
just want to help. Something was going on between his brother and this witch.
He didn’t like it, but he was willing to see what she could do to help.

Dean slowly nodded.

Rowena touched Dean on his arm, closing her eyes.

“Oh my.”

“Oh my what?” asked Dean, annoyed. He looked at Sam,
who was still sitting on the floor, looking even more confused than ever. He
hadn’t said a word since Dean backed away from him.

“Just a minute, dearie.” She took her hands off of
Dean and moved over to Sam, who just looked at her with sad eyes. Rowena gently
placed her fingertips on Sam’s neck. He flinched slightly when she touched him.
Dean noticed, but didn’t say anything. She took a deep breath and turned back
to Dean, dropping her hands by her sides.

“Dean, I’m going to need to take him away for a while.
He’s capable of…well, quite a bit more than I expected. And the hex bag? Even
though I destroyed it, Sam’s likely going to deal with some serious issues for a while.”

“Issues? What issues? What do you mean, take him away?”
Dean’s voice rose in anger, but he didn’t move towards Rowena.

“Dean, I’m afraid Sam’s been cursed.”

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Sam’s Fear (part 3)


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“Who did this
to him. And why?”

“I don’t know.”
She sighed and looked up at Dean.  He could see a flash of anger in her
eyes. Her voice became low and she spoke slowly,

“But I’m going
to find out.”


Dean was quite taken aback at Rowena’s sudden interest in Sam.

“I’m going to find out who did this to Samuel, and let me tell you, there’ll
be hell to pay!” Rowena sneered.

Dean shifted on his feet uncomfortably. He felt awkward standing there,
while his brother was curled in a ball on the floor, being comforted by – well,
by her.  

“Listen, Rowena, I’m grateful for your help, and I’m eager to get the son of
a bitch, too…but why do you care so much?  We haven’t exactly been nice to
you.”

Rowena let out a short laugh.

“Maybe you haven’t dearie, but Samuel has been more than gracious to
me.”  She continued stroking Sam’s hair, watching his slow, relaxed
breathing.

Dean was confused.

“I’m not sure I understand. Sam’s been spending time with you?” He put his
hands on his hips, unsure what he was supposed to be doing with them.

“Oh yes, I’m afraid he’s seen me more than you realize.  He’s been
learning magic from me.  For
quite some time now, actually.” Rowena smiled up at Dean, waiting for his
reaction.

Dean’s eyes widened. “He’s what?”  He took his arms from his hips and
crossed them defensively, taking a step back. He couldn’t believe it. Sam never
told him this. Rowena chose to ignore Dean’s question, turning her attention
back to Sam.

“There are a few witches who aren’t too keen on me teaching the likes of Sam
Winchester.  I’m sure they’ll probably try to stop me again, but now we’ll
be prepared.   I’ve got a protection spell that will work wonders when
he…”

“No, Rowena, don’t put him under a spell!” interrupted Dean, trying to grab
for his brother, but he was easily shoved aside with a wave of her hand. Rowena
rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.  “Listen here, Dean-o, I’m not putting
him ‘under a spell’,” Rowena put her fingers up, making air quotes as she
spoke. Dean caught his balance and leaned against the nearby table. Rowena
clearly did not want to be messed with.

“I’m casting a protective spell around him so he can’t be harmed.”  She
tried not to be annoyed with Dean as she explained what she needed to do. “I’m
also protecting him from what he might be capable of doing to others. This hex
bag has stirred up some deep, terrifying emotions.”

Reluctantly, Dean nodded and let Rowena cast the spell. She chanted a few
words Dean did not understand, and touched Sam’s forehead. Dean waited, not
realizing he was holding his breath until he felt his lungs burning.

Moments later, Sam groaned and stirred under Rowena’s touch.

“Samuel, dearie, you alright then?”
Rowena tucked his hair behind his ear as her turned to look at her. “Hey Ro –
what happened?” Sam’s voice was nearly a whisper.

“Hex bag, dearie. So sorry I didn’t get to you sooner.  But you’re ok
now, aren’tcha?”  Sam nodded and slowly sat up as Rowena released him from
her embrace.

“I think so.  I mean, I feel fine, just a little sluggish, is all.”

“That’ll wear off once the protection spell takes hold.”  Rowena patted
his cheek and Sam smiled back at her.

“A protection spell?” He asked, not looking away from her.

But Dean would not be denied attention any longer. He needed to look into
Sam’s eyes and speak to him directly. Sam almost didn’t even seem to know Dean
was in the room. He knelt down on the other side of Sam and nudged him with his
elbow.

“I’m really glad you’re ok, Sam…but…magic?”

Sam was immediately defensive and his smile darkened into a deep frown as he
turned to look at his brother for the first time.

“Magic makes me feel powerful, Dean.” said Sam, calmly.

“Demon blood made you feel powerful, too, Sammy.” Dean wasn’t sure if he was
supposed to be angry or worried.

“Oh my g– are you serious? This is different!” Sam started to raise his
voice. Rowena cautiously put a hand on Sam’s arm.

“How is this different?” Dean asked, incredulously, sitting back on his
heels.

“Well, I’m not drinking demon blood, for starters!”  Sam’s voice was
now a yell. He scooted away from Dean, moving closer to Rowena.

“Yeah, well…but…Sam, Rowena?” He held his hand up, waving in her direction.
Sam shrugged his shoulders, lowering his voice at the sound of her name.

“I dunno Dean, I kinda like her.”

“You LIKE her?”

Sam snorted. “Yeah Dean, I do. She’s helped me embrace
and increase my dormant powers. And I don’t need demon blood to do it, either.”

“And you think this is a good idea?”  Dean was finding
this entire conversation hard to believe.

“Yes Dean, I do.” Sam’s voice was now unrecognizable.
Dean could almost feel the anger radiating off of his brother’s skin. There was
an awkward silence for a few seconds, each brother staring the other one down.

Rowena suddenly leaned forward, interrupting the
silence, her hand still on Sam’s arm.

“Dean, must you rile him up now? You saw what he just
went through, let him be for now. Let me help him, you two can argue later.”

Dean clenched his teeth and growled, “Fine.”

But as Dean stood and turned his back to the two still
sitting on the floor, Sam suddenly raised his hand, his eyes glowing a
silvery-purple color. Rowena instantly saw what was about to happen and she
cried out, “Samuel, no!” She pulled back on his arm.

But it was too late. The wave of magic that flew from
Sam’s fingers hit his brother square in the back, and Dean dropped to the floor
instantly.

Sam smiled.

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Sam’s Fear (part 2)


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“Crowley!” Dean called, his voice thick with panic…  

In an instant, the demon appeared behind Dean.

“Crowley here,” He looked and Dean, smiling, but his face changed
quickly. He frowned when he saw Sam on the floor under the table, holding a
knife to his neck.  

“What’s going on with Moose?” asked Crowley, his eyes never leaving Sam, his
voice showing sincere concern. Dean turned to face Crowley, his face red.

“Dammit Crowley, if I knew, I’d be helping him!  Why the hell do you
think I called you! Maybe he’s under a spell, I mean, just look at him!  Come on, you know that this is not how he is!
Even when he’s upset he’s not like this!”

Crowley nodded, looking from Sam to Dean, and back to Sam again.  Then he lifted his hand, spreading his
fingers wide, waving it over Sam’s general direction.

“Right. Well, I can’t tell what it is Dean, but you’re right. It’s some sort
of a spell.”

Dean closed his eyes and lowered his head slightly. He couldn’t believe what
he was about to say. He sighed heavily and turned to face the demon.

“Can you please find Rowena?”  Dean suddenly grabbed Crowley, shaking
him by the shoulders. Crowley pretended to be offended by the outburst, but of
course, he couldn’t resist Dean even if he wanted to. There was just something
about the Winchesters. He removed Dean’s hands from his jacket, holding on
a second longer than he probably should have.

“Happy to.”

Releasing Dean’s hands, he disappeared.
Dean didn’t have to wait long.  Moments
later, he reappeared, Rowena clutching his arm. She clearly wasn’t too pleased
to be dragged here, but the moment she saw Sam, she gasped in concern and moved
to his side. 

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Sam’s Fear (part 1)


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Ok guys…here we go. Part 1 of a new
(old) series…

Warnings:  self harm (sort of) mentioned
but not described, terrified Sam, protective Dean. 

“Sammy! Coffee!” Dean hollered to
his brother from the kitchen.  But there was no response.  Dean
waited a few more minutes and Sam still hadn’t responded, hadn’t made a sound.
Dean paused and listened closely before he called again. The bunker was quiet.

“Sam, get your ass down here, we
gotta hit the road in ten!”  Still there was nothing but silence. Dean
sighed heavily and rolled his eyes.  Sam was probably fixing his hair or
something. He headed down the hall to Sam’s bedroom.  He gave a sharp
knock, making sure Sam knew of his impatience. Sam did not respond.

“Dude, seriously, come on –“
Dean opened the door to his brother’s room.  He did not expect to find the
bedroom empty.  Dean frowned.  Where the hell was his brother?

He searched all the main rooms, his
own room, and the bathroom, but couldn’t find his brother.  He tried
calling his cell, but Sam did not pick up. It wasn’t like Sam to just take off
without telling him.  His heart beat a little faster, but he wasn’t
worried just yet.

That is, until he opened the door to
the boiler room and found Sam crouched in the corner, visibly shaking.

 “Sam?”  Dean started to
run toward his younger brother.

Sam held up his hand and yelled for
Dean to stop.  In his other hand, he held a large knife.  Dean’s eyes
grew wide and he froze in his tracks.

“Sam?” Dean asked cautiously.
 “What are you doing with the knife?”

Sam shook his head. He was sweating
and he looked terrified.

 “It’s all my fault, Dean. All
of this.  Every last thing.  My fault.”  His eyes turned away
from Dean and he stared at the wall, knife still held firmly in his grasp.

“What’s your fault, Sam?” He tried
to slowly make his way over to his brother.

 “Charlie died because of me,
Dean.  You know that.  You accused me of that.  You told me it
should have been me up there, my body burning.  I know now you were right.
 I should have died.”  Sam had shifted himself underneath a
table.  He awkwardly pulled his knees up under his chin,  his body
trembling.

 Dean blinked.  He was
confused.  Where was this suddenly coming from? He tried to keep his voice
calm, even though he was angry and scared. How was he going to fix this?

“I…I was under the mark of Cain,
Sam! I don’t think it should have been you.  You know that, right?” 
Dean tried to sound reassuring as he tried to assess the situation.  But
Sam was shaking his head.  

“Kevin too.  I literally was
the one who murdered him.”  He started chewing on his fingernails.

“Sam, that was Gadreel!”  He
raked his hands through his hair.  Dean’s concern over Sam’s behavior was
growing.  What was going on?  He couldn’t get any closer because Sam
kept clutching the knife, holding it closer to his body.

 Sam kept talking, much faster
than usual.

“And that car accident? When Dad
traded his soul for yours so that you could live?  I was driving the
fucking car, Dean!”

“Sammy, you’re not seriously blaming
yourself for that?  Azazel sent a demon after us, it doesn’t matter who
was driving!”

“You know what else?” Sam was
practically sobbing now.  “Bobby, too.  He died because of me!”

“Sam, hell, no! Dick Roman killed
Bobby!”  Dean tried to reach out to his brother, but Sam was startled by
the quick movement and scooted further back under the table, moving the knife
to his neck.

“Sammy!  What the hell are you
doing, put that down!”  Dean choked back a sob.

“And whose fault is it that the
Leviathans were released, huh?  Who started all of that!  That was
me!” Sam’s voice caught in his throat and his sobbing intensified.

Dean shook his head, tears falling
from his eyes, too.

“Sammy stop!”

Dean couldn’t believe what he was
hearing.  Or seeing. He had to do something.

He didn’t want to call him, but he
needed backup for this one, and he knew the demon could probably help.

“Crowley!” Dean called, balling his
fists against his sides, his voice thick with panic.  

(to be continued…)

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