Sometimes I feel like I am living in a movie

As I sit here and write this, I am laying on the couch and my 1 and a 1/2 yr old niece is using me as a couch for her nap.

If someone had told me 10 yrs ago, when I first met Maddy’s mother, that we were going to become the best of friends, and one day her daughter was going to be the center of my universe I would have laughed in their face.

Even if that mysterious someone told me 2 yrs ago that when Maddy was born, she was going to become the sun in my life, I still would have laughed.

See, I don’t like little kids.  I was the youngest in my family, and my brother never had kids, so there were never any little munchkins running around in my life.  Babies were just goo factories, as far as I was concerned.

And then Madelyn was born.  I’m still convinced that when I went to see her in the hospital, she laid a spell on me.  Cause, well, I still think babies are goo factories.  Except for Maddy.  Maddy is NOT a goo factory.  She is the single most coolest thing that has ever happened to me.

I feel so lucky that Maddy’s parents trust me enough to let me spend time with her.  Cause, truely, I am learning as I go, not knowing a thing about little kids.

And sometimes, I feel like I am in a movie-because I can’t believe that my life has been so blessed with such an amazing gift.

I hope everyone out there had a great holiday and an excellent new year.

See ya on the other side!


not bjj: you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your family

*sigh* I came home to visit my family down in south jersey, which for the most part involves my mother and brother, and by association my sister in law and my father.

Friday night we had dinner–my mom, brother and his wife always have dinner friday nights, so I just joined in with the fun… far so good, nothing odd (for us)

Saturday: my mother wanted to go to Lancaster County PA–for those of you who are not familiar, there are a lot of crafty type places and amish stuff. Lots of amish, too. ANYWHO, me, my mom, and my brother pack ourselves in a car and off we go (it’s a 2 hour ride from my mom’s)

All is fine and dandy until my brother asks for a peach. (NJ peaches ROCK!) anyway, my brother had brought peaches, and my mother had brought peaches. My brother asks for one of his peaches, and my mom asks if he left his peaches out or put them in the fridge. He replies that he put them in the fridge. My mom says, “well I’m going to give you one of my peaches cause I left them out last night so they will be riper.”

My brother says, “I don’t want one of your peaches, I want one of my peaches” (by the way, my brother is driving, i’m in the passenger seat, and my mom is in the back seat). They start going back and forth (they “argue” a lot, but usually it’s harmless) and suddenly my brother just SNAPS and tells my mother to shut up. (my brother, for the record, is MUCH older then me, and I’m of a very solid adult age–okay i’m 30, eeek!)

ANYWAY, the point of the story is he told her to shut up (and YELLED at her, totally unneccesary)–and so, my mother being the way she is, she did, and refused to talk to him for the rest of the trip. Not that he apologized or anything, cause he didn’t. She was fuming. I was fuming. It was a PEACH! My mother is somewhere in her 70’s (I stopped keeping track after 65,lol) and has had a couple of health scares, so as far as I’m concerned…if she wants to give you one of her peaches…you take the damn peach!


On another family related rant, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my weight–past, present, and future–and it has occurred to me, that until recently, I have not been surrounded by people who were ever positive about my weight–when I was in hs I was overweight, and my family was always after me to lose weight.

In college I dropped a lot of weight (I know that’s odd, but I wasn’t living at college and I don’t really drink anywho) and then my family acted like I was bulimic or anarexic. Then, a bunch of stuff blew up (not literally, just lots of stuff happened), and I gained a bunch of weight. And again, my family was after me to loose weight.

And now, I am trying to get in better shape…and I KNOW that even though my scale hasn’t changed much (which I know, I shouldn’t be so worried about) my body HAS changed…I have girly curves where there are supposed to be curves, and I feel much stronger and better about the image staring back at me in the mirror. Several of my friends have commented I look better and healthier, (and possibly obsessed with bjj, but I ignore those comments lol). But when I come home, the only comment I get from my mother is “well, I don’t think you gained any weight while you were in Maine”. Thanks Mom, you’re such a confidence booster. *sigh*

(but that’s actually positive coming from her, and again, like I mentioned before, I’m not going to start an arguement over something stupid)

At least tommorrow I get to go to karate and bjj…*sigh*